Acne is new to me. Early on, my skin was never really a concern of mine- it wasn't something that I though about unless I was plagued with a single giant spot, and even then I wasn't very emotionally affected as I knew that it would soon enough be gone. Currently, things are very different.
Jumbled thoughts about his kind of acne;
I've experienced nothing so consuming in all my life.
It does not feel like part of you- it's not your face. I can do better! Shallow? I've never felt so shallow.
I did not appreciate my face.
Not knowing what to do because every webpage states something different 'Toothpaste!' 'Dry out your skin' 'Make sure you moisturise' 'Don't squeeze!' 'Extract whiteheads'.
Everything is too confusing. Nobody can confirm anything. All skin is different. I do not understand mine.
It's the thought that it will never go back to how it was. That redness and bumps and self consciousness will become me. I crave the old. So. Much.
I just became comfortable with my face. I like my features now. Acne, you've torn it down.
Don't turn the lights on anymore. Eye contact is hard. Mirrors? Crying. Shallow.
Wanting to meet new people; not wanting them to think that you look like this. Worthy? Shallow?
'Current thoughts on makeup'- It's different and difficult- almost impossible- when you don't feel comfortable with your face. I did not appreciate this. "Put some makeup on to make yourself feel better." I don't feel much better.
Physically painful. Like little pin pricks all over your face. Throbbing sometimes. Sounds dramatic? Maybe. "Nobody see's it as badly as you do!" Sure, but I do.
Acne, you're my first waking thought, you do not leave my mind. Ever. I am aware of you always, and I hate you. I hate you.
Dear girls with acne,
I am completely sorry. I wish that I could give you some proper advice, but I fear that I am perhaps not the best person for this. Here are some things that you should be reminded of;
1. Your face is still the same underneath. You still have your lovely eyes and lips and your bones are the same and your smile is the same. People will look into your eyes, not at your skin.
2. It will go. You will not be stuck with it forever. Hormones will balance eventually. Things will get better.
3. Go to a doctor. Get some advice. Do not do anything stupid (do not put toothpaste, or any other item that is not particularly meant for skin onto your lovely face. Please.)
4. You are still worthy. You are more than your skin.
5. Smiling makes a world of difference. Fucking beam at everybody you see.
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